i read this - quote? meme? - i don't know what exactly it was - the other day. it said something to the effect of "people will notice when your behavior toward them changes but they won't notice what they did to precipitate that change." it was probably put more eloquently than that, but i don't remember it exactly, and i can't find the original post. i think the sentiment behind it is true, but the more i turn it over in my head, the less i agree with it. the second half, sure. but i would argue that most folks won't even notice when your behavior toward them changes. the first time that thought occurred to me, i thought, "well gosh. i need to work a little harder to make sure they notice that i changed and will figure out that it's because of them." (i should probably add here that i am, by nature, something of a passive-aggressive creature.) what follows is my own contribution to the folk "wisdom," and i'll leave you to decide whether or not it's, as i'm fond of saying, "the dumbest thing you ever heard." (disclaimer: it helps me to work through things with words, so please know, this is mostly for me. if it resonates with you, awesome. if you disagree with me completely, that's okay too.)
my mother was once none to keen on this boy i was seeing. i was beyond smitten, but she was frustrated for the duration of our relationship because, according to her, he didn't cherish me. turns out she was right (y'all don't tell her i said that). it's been a hard-learned lesson, but i've finally come to realize that it's better to let the people who don't cherish you move on down the road - not just in romantic relationships (but certainly in romantic relationships).
if there's someone in your life who has quit treating you like the rockstar that you are, i imagine there's a good chance that you're going to want to dote on them a little less. but the key is, for me, anyway, that if you find yourself in this situation, that person has likely quit paying you much mind, if they ever paid you any to begin with. that person likely won't notice at all that your behavior has changed. and here's the punchline - that. is. okay. not everyone who comes into our lives will stay forever. it's entirely possible that this is a sign that it's time for this person to go. and again - that. is. okay. it's certainly not easy to let people leave your life before you're ready for them to go, but fortunately, you don't really have to let them. they'll just go. and you know what? that. is. okay. because remember, we're only in this situation because whoever this person is has forgotten that you're a rockstar. you're really not losing anything. and it probably won't be a one of those super-dramatic soap-opera friend-breakups. it'll probably happen slowly and quietly. it'll probably still hurt, though, but maybe we just call those growing pains and move on.
the truths to take out of all of this are these:
- if someone is (consistently) treating you less than awesomely, it's okay to let them go.
- now's probably a good time to take an inventory of your relationships to make sure that you're taking care of the rockstars in your life. if not, they may just let you go.
♡whit
